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Monday, July 27, 2009

Where am I?

**Goes well with this song, load song 1st, then listen and read ^_^**




Stepping out of the door today as the first day of my 4th sem in Miri, things began with a slightly different feeling to it. Everything seemed.... like it wasn't quite there yet. The road that led to the everyday bus stop I used to take seemed so quiet... And just waiting for the bus seemed long enough to make me tired.


The canteen that I ate at every morning while here for 2 years seemed so unfamiliar altogether. I couldn't decide what to eat; I couldn't decide where to sit; I couldn't see where I was going, where I should go, what I should do; because everything I did wouldn't make me feel any better.


I went to the atm to check my balance: I went to check the notice boards for new notices; I went to the bookshop to check the book prices; I went to the computer labs for the aircon; I went to the toilet for no reason whatsoever. Yet, the places I could go to were limited...


Sitting in such a crowd, yet feeling like there was no one else, it was something so frightening, something that made me feel so frighteningly alone, and it was so much more than what's seen on the outside.

30 minutes I spent with a plate of full moon toast felt like a never ending plate of food. Taking out my phone and placing it on the table only seemed to make things look slightly better, but my relief ended when the canteen worker had to take away my one and only empty plate on my table... leaving me... .... empty...


Everything felt so unreal.... like it couldn't be happening.... like it shouldn't be happening.


Where am I? Why am I here?



As a friend, I have to admit that,

I miss you.
Hope you're doing fine out there without me.

By Bert at 11:57 AM 6 comments  

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Buddy Blogs

101 Things to Do Before I Die

02. Make video logs.
03. Skydive. On my Own.
04. Throw a dart onto a world map, and travel to wherever it lands (if possible)
05. Learn a new skill from a friend.
06. Own a 4 acre piece of land.
07. Experience Jetlag.
08. Camp on my own land.
09. Learn not to say yes when you really mean no.
10. Write a novel about myself... or an autobiography.
11. Do something completely crazy and out of character.
12. Sit on the scariest roller coaster ride in the world.
13. Find a job I love.
14. Photograph an eclipse, both solar and lunar.
15. Learn to ride a horse.
16. Own a horse.
17. Go skinny dipping.
18. Throw a mega party!
19. Bury a treasure/time capsule.
20. Visit Antartica, or better yet, get a Job on Antartica, if possible.
21. Build something that will outlast myself.
22. Drive on the Autobahn.
23. Keep a daily diary for one whole year (in detail)
24. Dance in the pouring Rain.
25. Have my own photo studio.
26. Keep a pet (most likely a dog) watch it grow up, grow old, and pass on.
27. Make someone weak in the knees just by looking~
28. Climb one of the world's Seven Summits.
29. Bungee Jump.
30. Fall deeply in love - helplessly and unconditionally.
31. Own a BMW.
32. Win a lottery.
33. Walk the Great Wall of China.
34. Design my own house.
35. Learn Diving.
36. Hike up a Glacier.
37. See the Northen Lights.
36. Fold 1,000 origami paper cranes and give them to someone special.
37. Witness the Sunrise with a loved one.
38. Act and dress up like a tourist, and visit all the places in Sabah like I've never been there before.
39. Draw my own self-portrait.
40. Get a complete makeover, and probably might as well add a photoshoot.
41. Sleep under a starry sky.
42. Live through the 4 seasons of the year, Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter
43. Learn Stunt/Professional Driving.
44. Watch a Meteor shower.
45. Walk into a restaurant and order the whole menu
46. Say "I quit." To a job I hate.
47. Seduce a straight guy.
48. Photograph the Milky Way.
49. Be at Sea for a Week.
50. Master Poker and Win BIG in a Casino.
51. Tell someone "I Love You", and mean it.
52. Test Drive a FERRARI!.
53. Ride a Hot Air Balloon.
54. Dive and see the Great Barrier Reef.
55. Make someone burst in tears of happiness.
56. Go nude for a week.
57. Learn to say "I'm sorry, it's my fault." Even when you're right.
58. Publish an article.
59. Learn to make a Fine Dish. Perfect it. Master it.
60. Learn Skiing, and go Heli-Skiing after that.
61. Visit one of the 7 Wonders of the World.
62. Perform a striptease.
63. Take a midnight stroll along a beach.
64. Sit on the World's Fastest Rollercoaster!!
65. Find my fetish.
66. Get myself so drunk I don't remember anything.
67. Have plastic surgery.
68. Drive a car faster than 160km/h
69. Be in a warzone.
70. Give someone a fake name, just for kicks =)
71. Shoot a scoped rifle at a target 200 meters away. And HIT.
72. Learn a Self-Defense art. Thoroughly.
73. Take part in a motorsport.
74. Have a collection of soft toys.
75. Spend summer solstice above the Arctic Circle, and experience 24 hours of daylight.
76. Touch a Tiger.
77. Write a letter to my closest friends to tell them how much they mean to me.
78. Make a short film.
79. Listen to a Live Orchestra in a world-class theatre.
80. Go BASE jumping.
81. Make a pop up/out card and give it to somebody special.
82. Get a piercing.
83. Get a Tattoo.
84. Perfect my Japanese. And go to Japan to use it.
85. Build a 1km in diameter man-made island.
86. Spend 1 year getting my body in optimum shape, and keep it that way.
87. Look close into the eyes of someone I've just met, see myself, and smile.
88. Make love on the beach.
89. One day donate 10% of my wealth to charity.
90. Take an amazing portrait for someone.
91. Build myself a beach house.
92. Have something named after myself.
93. Watch the Launch of a Space Shuttle.
94. Visit a live volcano.
95. Join a Caravan in the Sahara Desert.
96. Go Rock-climbing.
97. Build a Giant Sandcastle.
98. Save a Life.
99. Disappear from Society for 6 months in attempt to complete as many goals on this list as possible.
100. Change the World.
101. Be happy with who I am.

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