These hands..... where shall they lead me... what shall they do....

For quite a long time, I've wondered what would I have done if these hands.... this pair of right and left hands, which I've used for so long, worked with for so far, if anything were to happen to them one day, what will I do?

The many skills I've obtained, the many things I can do, all with these two hands, I use them, to build, make, create, play, and even amaze myself with them. But coming back to the very start.... all of these, none able to be done, without this pair of right and left of mine.


But lately, somehow.... these hands, are they failing me? I do not know. But being away from everything and everyone, I guess my mind somehow lost its motivation to keep my hands going.

This week when I arrived back in KK.... the first thing I saw, and remembered when I entered my house. "My Piano....", "How long has it been.... one month..... .... It'll be even longer after I leave this time. The next time I'll be able to touch it is end of November. Will I still be able to play, will I still be able to express myself with the piano, like I used to do....."

But even now.... I can't even play any whole song right anymore. Having lost touch with my piano for one sem, and only replaced with one month's holiday back, and now..... I'm starting to think whether I should quit my piano. Yet, everytime I think of quitting, "Is it worth.... all these years... just like that?", that's what comes to my mind.

Besides my piano, my magic. What's wrong lately, my performances have dropped dramatically. I can't perform well, having pauses here and there, pondering what I should perform, do next. Wondering, wandering, my mind lacks control of these hands lately. I just can't seem to do things as good and as swiftly as I was able to.

Many other skills....... I seem to have lost count, lost touch. All of them, left in the back of my memory, left behind, forgotten.


I wonder what's the reason behind all this. Do I lack motivation? Do I need someone to teach me? Or is it just me, is it just something at the back playing with my mind? Or am I just a little too bothered by other things lately??

それが解からない。。。全然解からん。。。。。

Debonding...

Hahaha.... I thought I said I'd post back soon, but turns out one week's passed and I totally didn't feel like posting. Anyway, my project's done, handed in, and now I'm on a free week, back in KK. Anyway, heres the update of recent events in my life:

________________________________

"Ligature cutter!... ... ... Upper right 5th, re-bond, GIC cement!... ... ... Long ligature, 3 Spaces! ... ... ... Lower left 7th, bracket off!... ... Quick-lick, 2 spaces!... ... Heal, 1 minute!... .... Lower right band broken, give me size 35!... .... Suction! .... .... O-ring!"

For nearly 6 years, I've been hearing those orders, requests, whatever they are, thrown back and forth between the nurses, and doctors. And I've sat, or maybe laid, in the middle of it, with a bright light piercing my eyes, and my mouth open, with 4 hands, each holding a different instrument, inserted into it.

---------------------------------------------

Today however, was a slightly different scene.

"Prepare for debonding!"

Debonding, It's a term used by orthodontist, "a procedure by which brackets and bonding resin are removed and the surface of the tooth is restored to its previous condition." stated in wikipedia.


"Finally", I had to say...... it really was "finally" for me. Even though it's not ALL over, but at least.... my orthodontic treatment's about almost done.

But who knows..... that for the next One and a Half hours, I lay there, with my mouth wide open.... with sounds of scraping, drilling, brushing, suction.... and all kinds of funny tingly yet painful and 'wish-everything-could-stop' feeling.

Man, that was agonizing... One minute, the drilling sound was so intense, I thought I was gonna go deaf; next minute, the sound stopped, but in change, something was pressing against my teeth so hard I felt they'd break right in the middle; Sometimes, the stupid nurse was stupid enough to probe my throat with her suction tube that I almost threw up.... And I accidentally cut my tongue coz I tried push away one of the working drills in my mouth with my tongue, haha.

Nevertheless, I guess the worst is over now. I've got a couple of brown spots on some of my molars, but they said it's because I've been wearing my braces for very long..... 6 years..... that's quite a record. They said the spots will go away sooner or later, just as long as I take good care of my teeth.

So long.

Shucks! shucks! shi**!! sh***!! SH****!!!!

RAWR!!! *Bang! bang! bang!!* Do you know how the hell it feels when you've got an assignment to hand in, and you don't know hell where to start, what to do, what you're SUPPOSED to do, and what the heck they want!?!???


I've got a management assignment due next week, monday, but because I'll be flying my ass back to KK by Saturday, I'll have to finish it and hand it in by tomorrow!! And right now, what am I doing!?? Blogging! Well, I have my reasons.... I just couldn't take it anymore and am stuck with my sources, don't know what else to do, and don't know who to contact. So I thought I might as well take a short rest and come here to vent.

*Breathe breathe..... phew...... fuu...... aaaahh.......*

Hmm.... okay..... sry guys, just toooo nyet just now..... Coz I can't think and work properly with this foggy head, a hungry body, and ......... forgot what I wanted to say =_= .....

Ehehehe.... I've got mental blocks again...... oxygen starvation I guess...... starting to feel sleepy.... I guess I'll post again later. Got to get back to my work a little.

Later.

Science vs Commerce

3 weeks into Sem 2 at Curtin Miri, undertaking FOUR units this semester, Management 100, Electronics 104, Engineering Programming 104, and Intro to OS 101.

I'm supposed to be an engineering student, why the 'Management' you might ask. Well, I had a free elective slot this semester, and I was thinking I'd like to balance out my brain with some Commerce to go with the Science.... Uhh-umm..... *shakes head*, wrong decision.


Now, let me tell you a simple concept why they divided "Science" and "Commerce" into two different categories ever since high school. The answer is simple, Science and Commerce subjects can NOT go together.

If "x = a + b" and "y = a", then "x= y + b" isn't it??? DEDEEET!!! It's a no-no for commerce concepts..... in commerce, everything is different. You somehow need more than 'logic' alone, I feel.


But anyhow, I did manage to learn some things..... from a "manager's" point of view..... seeing things from another perspective.... Instead of looking at a program in a computer and seeing 'how it works' now, I have to realise 'how it's sold, or distributed' or whatever else there is. I also learned that 'Giordano' is a brand from 'Hong Kong', that 'IKEA' was NOT a Malaysian brand...... and that commerce lecturers are far more fussy about being assignments and being late into class, compared to our engineering ones who sometimes don't even realize you're there.

Well, I've got a management project to hand in by this week, but I have NO IDEA where I should start from..... yet.... it still has to be done anyway.... so, I think I'll go get started on it right now.

Later.

Tagged by Pheobe (to answer this weird questionnaire)

Instructions: Remove ONE question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged.


1. At what age do you wish to marry?

Hmm, I personallly don't have an answer to this question... no comment.


2. What is your most favourite thing to do?

Ee...... let's see..... I never really thought about this before..... now........ ee.......... ...... dreaming I guess..... I like to dream.... think.... dream..... even if it won't come true.... but I just like to dream. Sometimes I find myself lying on the bed and thinking, dreaming about life and everything until I fall asleep......


3. If you have a close close close friend since childhood who loves to take away whatever you like, including guys/girls, and he/she always wins, will you still consider him/her your friend?

Someone like that, I wouldn't consider a friend.... but then again it would depend on who he/she was.


4. What would you give up in return to eat all you want in the world and not get fat ?

Theres no need to.... I NEVER get fat.... I should be answering "What would you give up in return to eat all you want AND THEN get fat?"


5. If you can have ONE dream to come true, what would it be?

秘密だね。。。


6. Do you believe you can survive without money?

Hard to say.... for me...... probably....... ...... I'd rather steal.... than try to survive without money. However.... I think, yes...


7. What are you afraid to lose the most?

The Most eh...... .... most likely my loved ones....


8. What do you feel like doing, right now?

Whatever my answer was for Question 5


9. If there's someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?

That depends.... on both sides.... if the situation allows.... who knows...... maybe I would.... maybe I wouldn't. But then again, as I said, it depends.


10. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.

She's pretty much cheerful almost every time I see her....
She's curious about EVERYTHING..... good thing there, you can learn a lot.
She's got a pure and naive mind.... which makes life a lot simpler.


11. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?

Other half lol...... Well, firstly, there aren't any requirements for the other half, coz if that person's gonna be my other half, most likely I've already accepted everything about that person before becoming my other half. Easily said.... I'll just know when I see the right one....


12. What is the thing that will make you think he/she is bad?

If theres love between us, theres nothing that makes you bad.


13. What is your ambition?

My ambition.... never really knew what my ambition was lol, till now....


14. Is anyone really perfect?

There always exists in the eyes of a loved one.... perfection.


15. If you had a choice to be rich or happy, which one would you pick ?

Happy, for sure. Err.... could I have both? haha

16. If you have a chance, which part of your character would you like to change?

Eehh...... well, nothing specifically.... there's of course bits and pieces here and there maybe I would want to change.... but that's exactly what makes me 'me'.

17. Who is the person that you can share all your problems with?

ALL my problems?? None so far, not sure whether I'll eventually do that.... but I prefer sharing different pieces of information with different people..... So that they don't put pieces together and make a whole story.

18. Where do you see yourself in 10 years time?

Wow..... did anyone know this is the top 10 question asked during a Job interview? I wonder who put this up, lol. If things go well, I see myself sitting in a furry couch positioned in front of a 6 foot wide plasma screen, with a window a couple of meters away which overlooks the 30m x 10m porched swimming pool 2 floors down. On top of the roof sits a HH-43B Husky Helicopter, fully fueled and ready to take off at a moments notice. The staircase is paved with..... ...... ......


Yea..... I think thats about it..... where I see myself in 10 years time.... (hope so)


19. If someone had found a path to immortality to be bestowed upon you in exchange for one of your abilities, would you take it, and what would you sacrifice for it?

Whether I would choose of not.... I still can't decide on that. But I'll answer the rest of the question. I don't really get what "one of your abilities" mean.... but honestly.... at a stage I am right now.... I really am not willing to give up any of my abilities.... ..... well, probably at the very most, I might give up my ability to perform magic..... since immortality and magic seem to come from a same perspective, lol.

But as I said, I'm not sure whether I'd choose immortality or not. Most likely, I'd rather live with the rest of my family, friends and loved ones....


20. What would you do if all of the sudden, you lost everything and everyone you've loved, known, cherished thus far... (not your memory of course), leaving you alone on this earth with strangers you've never known?

Honestly, I think I would probably lose my mind or lose sight of future for a meanwhile if something like that happened. But nevertheless, life is full of unknown and unforeseeable things..... The end of everything around you doesn't mean the end of your life.... I'll just have to start over again and find new 'family' and friends.... to not let down the hopes of my previous loved ones.



Now.... err.... who should I tag.... seems most of my contacts are inactive, lol. Anyway,

Steam
Siaunee
Cindy
Teo J. H.
Tee Lin
Shaun


Thats about it.

Bored.... again.....

Would you rather sleep than play with the computer? Would you rather cook than buy food outside? Would you fall asleep after you get home from class, and maybe lie there till dinner is served? Do you ever feel so sick with stuff that you can't even sit down to watch a movie? If yes, congratulations, you've just experienced a nick of what I'm feeling lately.


Some info on the week....

A week has passed, once again. It turned out that my uni classes were a mess, and some things were as easy (while others weren't as difficult) as I thought. I ended having this chubby overgrown 'mister potato' as my Engineering Programming lecturer (the class with 4 people, turned out to be 5 now). I didn't have hopes for him at first. "Just another programming lecturer speaking to himself" I thought. But after a week of his lectures.... he came to be one of the better lecturers I know of.....

Well, of course I might find him irritating. Coz he scribbles stuff on the whiteboard and then turns to smile at us like a kid.... I always wonder "what's making him so happy"; and he keeps asking us questions that end with "is it??"; he stumbles around and sometimes trips when trying to get from one side of the class to another (mister potato.... I guess). But nevertheless, his teaching is quite good.... good to the point that he makes things clear enough for us. Yet, too bad, too sad..... but we've already known a considerable amount last semester....... and we learned it the hard way (coz our last lecturer always ended up talking to the furniture in class).



Thursday night today is..... or Friday morning if you prefer that. Still ever as bored, bored sick, sick of hell, hell yea, everything.... Man.... wow.... it's only the second semester here and I'm getting bored..... if this continues, I'd have to survive another FOUR sems!!! Oh Gosh...... I wonder whether it's Curtin Sarawak....... or is it Miri's problem?

Anyway.... I might be considering applying for the "student exchange" to go to Perth, for one sem I guess.... I'd stay longer if I could. This right now.... is my only chance of getting out of here (or getting a break maybe), and experiencing something new. Instead of getting bored sick... or dead.... soon.... right here...... I'd better take the chance to explore the greener grasses on the other side....

In addition to that, my head had recently been spinning at the speed of sound... non-stop since I wake up till I fall asleep.... thinking of whatever comes to mind... thinking of solutions, ways, who, what, what why, when, where, and also... how..... This chaos in my mind makes me wanna bang my head on the wall.... thinking of questions without answers.....



I guess it's time for me to get some rest..... for that brain that ceases to stop thinking.... and tomorrow's opening for Olympics.... wonder whether I get to watch that. So long.

-------------------------------------------------

Hectic Friday

**LOOOOOOOOOOONNGG Post ahead....** Please estimate at least 15 minutes reading time.

Sleeping for me seems to have become quite a difficult task nowadays..... After tossing and turning on my poor creaking bed, keeping the whole neighbourhood awake the whole night, Friday morning finally came.

It had been a week since I arrived in Miri, moved into my 'new' room/house, had a 'gotong-royong' for our house...... And today, we had plans to go downtown to settle our bills and also stock up on foods and get some household stuff we needed.


Having arriving in town at about 12, my stomach was throwing a concert since I haven't eaten anything since 9.... wow... I felt like I was about to have a gastric, so we decided to stop by KFC and fill ourselves.

Ordering a dinner plate and some cheezy wedges.... Oh My...... I was wondering whether chicken drumstick the cashier gave me was from the chicken tigh or from its wing........ The drumstick was NOT LONGER than 10 cm, maybe 9... come to think of it...... and its diameter was barely..... I can't put it into words, lol. I had to decide whether the chickens in Miri were just born smaller, or some farmer was too poor to feed them properly......

Anyway, next was the cheezy wedges...... as soon as the cashier turned around and placed it on the tray, I think I let out an all too audible "HUH!??" that the cashier looked up at me with her head angled to a side........ then I quickly added "could you add some more of the cheese" so that it sounded like part of the sentance. Luckily...... she answered a "sure" and took it away........... and when it came back....... I suddenly felt that they might have been having too much cheese 'cream' (or whatever you wanna call it) to spare...... I could barely see any wedges anymore..... All I saw was a splash of yellowish-orange cheese cream covering the WHOLE box...... I quickly thanked the cashier with a "Thank you"..... maybe I sounded a little more excited than I expected.

2 pics of the flooded CHEEEEZZZYY!!! WEDGES,
I'd actually eaten a couple of pieces to the left coz I

After the yummy dinner of wedges and the pieces of dwarfed chicken.... we started shopping for our household items, "wok"s, pots, containers, plates, table fans, and some other stuff..... Considering the amount of items we bought....... it took quite a long time due to our pillow-testing-&-choosing session. I think its safe to say that we'd picked, tried and hugged every pillow available in the whole supermarket...... well, a pillow is important for everyone's beauty sleep after all......

Soon, we were downstairs buying food stuff. I wandered off buying the easy to choose items while the girls did their 'jobs' peeling and choosing all the veges and garlic, onions..... About an hour later (I guess).... we were about to check out at the counter..... when.....


Have you ever experienced an evacuation in progress?? I mean like something happened and everybody had to evacuate. No? Me neither.....


While my mind was pondering whether I should get some milk for cooking or drinking.... I saw people starting to walk out towards the exit. (Btw, imagine we're in a place something like pacific ngiukee, at the basement buying food stuffs, the building is somewhat like that...) Next thing I realised, one of the 'managers' I would guess, was shouting and rushing towards me while pointing all around her in every direction possible "Tell the Customers to Get OUT!!"

"WTF?? Is that ME she's looking at??" Seeing her glaring at me... pointing towards the exit and saying "Go out, go out!!"...... "Why!?" I said ..... "There's smoke coming out on the other side..." she replied.

Oh great ...... .... and we were just about to pay.... well, I tried to get a look of what was happening on the other end of the supermarket.... but all I could see was...... white...... mist like..... smoke??


Shucks, seconds later people were starting to work their way towards the exit.... with me standing in the middle thinking "Hey hey...... c'mon that doesn't look too serious does it??" But I guess only people like me would think that, haha.... I thought that even if there really was a fire or explosion.... I might stick around to see how it really was in real life.

And sooo..... we also had to go out anyway...... so we were in the main building of the shopping mall now.... But what surprised me was that.... now EVERYBODY was starting to have those odd, staring faces..... And they were all staring towards the supermarket we just came from.... within moments....... EVERYONE in the building was rushing towards the Exit!!??

I was like.... omg.... someone inside must've said something stupid to make the whole shopping complex panic. Soon, shops were closing down, the going DOWN lifts were filled with people going DOWN, while the GOING UP ones......... were ALSO filled with people GOING DOWN......... it was quite a funny scene to behold...... Adults RUNNING!! (well, jogging maybe), haha....... thats a rare sight..... a child fell, pity him, while his parents hurried to get him back onto his feet....

Here are some pics.... but they were taken with my phone and the quality isn't so good, pardon me.... and there were so many things to see so I guess some pics were blurred.... but anyhow....

This was an "UP" elevator.... but somehow people are going Down,
The elevator was turned off by someone earlier.

Speedy Video Closing....
More and more people coming down....
Some people running.... or was she chasing after her son, I dunno....
People outside... waiting, watching, expecting.... for something to happen

The closing Sugar Bun, and the nearly empty Shopping complex


Some scenes taken from upstairs.... well, I couldn't resist
from taking pictures, hehe... And the situation didn't seem very
serious to me.... So I went back upstairs....

The Aftermath....
Supervisors, managers and other workers clearing the mess
and re-ordering the goods that some customers threw around.

Well, since I haven't mentioned it.... it was actually a gas leak of some sort for, I'm not sure whether its the air conditioner, or was it one of their freezers.... And probably some moron who didn't know what it was made a huge fuss out of it and made it seem like you could die if you breathe in the gas...... well.... maybe you could, but not to that extent that the whole mall had to be closed....


But well, to sum it all up, we spent RM800++ in total on our goods, received 40 lucky draw coupons thanks to our spendings, hope we hear from them soon that someone won a prize, haha....

And last of all.... we finally got to go back home.... safe and sound.....

Friends Melissa and Emily napping on the way back.