2010: Split-Roads

2011 is Here~

Boy, I seriously love this photo ^_^

Another year, gone.

2010, a year filled with many paths to be taken, many choices to be chosen, and also decisions to be made.

Nevertheless, time still passes, unwilling to wait for anyone and anything, and before you realize, 2010 is now history. Welcoming 2011, it's time to say goodbye to 2010, although it was a fun year and enjoyable slice of my life. It really is, was, a year that, I spent lots of time, thinking, pondering, wondering, what I should do, what should I not do, or what can I do. And re-visiting my 2010 New Year's Resolution last year....

2010 New Year's Resolution:

1. Challenge myself to take a blind leap once in a while. - checked. It's scary, but at the same time, it's fun =)

2. Try something.... different... - checked.

3. Love myself more. - nope... totally forgot about this one....

4. Chase my dreams. - Apparently, saying something and doing something isn't really of the same level.... fail...

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So, flashback to a list of things I've tried/done in 2010.... and a look see at how I've spent my whole year of 2010.

1. Tried making fake BLOOD.

Okay... so maybe it doesn't look real enough.... but what do you expect.... it's made out of Chocolate Syrup and food colouring... Perfectly edible in fact.... which might explain why Hollywood vampires enjoy drinking blood =)

2. Played Paint-ball~!! for the Third time.

I have to say I enjoy paintball, a LOT, even though it hurts as hell if you get hit and feel somebody split your head with a chainsaw if you get hit point-blank in the neck, but somehow there's that adrenaline rush to it, that you get when you're playing First Person Shooter games =)

3. Attended Chua's Brother's Wedding

Gosh, it seems... the topic of getting Married is starting to plague more and more of our young minds. Now it's all their brothers and sisters getting married, in due time, we'll be having to eat less to save money for giving out Ang-pao's to all our Ji-mui and Heng-dai's weddings....

4. Took my firsts proper Fireworks photos =)

There's one reason why I like Chinese New Year.... wait... no, maybe 2 reasons....

One, the Ang-Pau's.... ^^ Who doesn't like getting 'free' money?? Two, Fireworks~!

Fireworks on CNY sounds like the Pearl Harbour bombing during World War II. Chinese are known to be stingy.... but there's one thing they can pay their asses off just for the sake of Chinese New Year. Fireworks ^^

5. Had Cockroach for Supper

Well, no, I didn't eat it. But apparently my mom's Soup was so deliciously tempting that our poor friend couldn't help resisting a taste of it. Before you know it, Wa-la~ and it cleaned my bowl for me @_@

6. Learned.... .... to Draw~

Uh... haha.... obviously this isn't.... really the best of my capability.... this guy is a common model used for hand-eye coordination practice when first learning drawing.... although, I DID get better along the way...

Oh, and this.... To, Chiaw Yee, if you're reading this, that's supposed to be you btw ^_^" One of my earlier sketches.... when I first started drawing....

I'm not drawing as much anymore though.... because I just can't seem to get in the mood when my mom is hovering around me in the living room.... I just need privacy when I'm drawing....

7. Got 3rd Prize for a 'Faces of Curtin' Photography contest

Although it's just a smalltime contest, but I just thought it'd be fun to play around and try my luck. And I won 3rd prize with help of my friends, and especially Tuang, my model for the picture below, hehe.

8. Saw a Cake.... ....

Shaped like a DURIAN~!!!

I swear to God, I totally thought it was a REAL durian when I first saw it.

9. I.... took a giant leap....

It's fun to do something crazy once in a while.... though sometimes these stuff don't always turn out the way you expect it to be, and they always tend to keep you on edge....

10. Saw a new-born BUTTERFLY for the first, close up~!!

Never realized that butterflies were so cool and beautiful.... until I saw one, at 4am one morning, just climbed out of it's cocoon and drying its wings.... with my very own eyes ^_^

11. Bought a rose for the very first time

With the intention to give it to someone.

12. Made full use of my laptop's resources =)

By full use.... I meant.... fully utilizing what's available to you.... hehe.... though maybe I overdid it...

Not everybody makes use of their computer to THIS extent... my poor RAM....

13. Went to Brunei

To eat Sushi~ TWICE~

14. Attempted Lucid Dreaming

Though I never really managed to succeed, the process of trying.... is pretty fun =)

15. Burnt lecture notes 0_0

Why keep something you won't be needing? Hehe.... Well, that is... if I graduate without problem =)

16. Did.... the craziest thing ever

Which I'm not gonna say what... hiak hiak~

17. Got hooked on Yaoi, again...

Commission-Kalei-doscope by *eguana on DeviantArt.com

The clarity and beauty of these drawings never cease to amaze me.



18. Visited the Tip of Borneo!

At long last of being a Sabahan, finally, I visited the Tip of Borneo for the first time =)

Pictures don't do justice for the scene.... it surely is, a place that you have to go and see for yourself to know how wonderful it is =)

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Happiest Moment of 2010:

- Probably the last few days where I spent my time with my beloved friends, just hanging out and having fun.

Craziest thing I did in 2010:

- refer to no. 16.

Most regretful act of 2010:

- not too sure about this one.... but I might re-consider spending hours and hours on Maplestory, on something else instead.... IF I had the chance...

- I don't regret the things I've done. It's the things I didn't do that I regret not trying, at least...

Lesson learned in 2010:

- Some things are never meant to be.

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That's about it for 2010, having re-capping what I'd done for the whole past year, I guess it's time to decide what I should change for 2011.

2011 New Year Resolutions:

1. Strive to be a better person 0_0 and also improve myself in various aspects.

2. Dare to Dare. Dare to Say. Dare to Do.

3. Be ambitious, and fight for a whole new life.

4. Live free~!!

I guess that's it for this year's resolutions =)

So what I have to do next is work hard, and live up to my own expectations, hehe

So long~

Do People Change?

To give you the answer straight up. I, personally, Yes, I do believe people change. As to why? I don't know, and I don't think I'll ever know. For the Better, for the Worse, who knows?


Anyway, this question popped into my mind today as I met a friend today.


A friend whom I didn't meet for 7 years. I knew him in my first year of Secondary School. I didn't actually know him well, and to be honest, my impression of him wasn't good. As far as I know, he was a big talker, and not many of the people I knew liked him. I didn't talk to him much, I never really wanted to either, since I already didn't have a good impression of him.

Yet, as time went on, and each of us walked our own lives. People forget. All these previous 'impressions' I had of him, someone, or anyone, slowly start fading. And given enough time, I think it could fade to a point where everything starts from zero. (There are, I believe however.... 'exceptions'.... you could call them)

After years of not meeting, years of not hearing any news about him, today, by chance, I met him on the street.

Oddly though, throughout the many years we did not meet or talk, we recognized each other, and what was even weirder was that we talked as if we once were good friends. As I talked to him, even though it was just for that 3 minutes, I felt that, he might be a different person, maybe, just maybe... changed from the one I knew before... I didn't have time to chat for long, and neither did he, so we just caught up a little with each other and moved on with our lives. But still, just that few seconds, made me wonder... had he changed or what?

2008: Where change begins

Last night while counting down, I had been hearing lots of people shouting "Goodbye 2008, Welcome 2009!" I personally don't know whether to agree or not with that statement. But nonetheless, I just have to say it doesn't feel right.

Anyway, thinking back to 2008, it was definitely a step out of our lives since the past 18 years before 2007.


January
I got Drunk for the very first time in Life~~ together with a bunch of idiotic friends..... we had a drunk kick start to 2008.

Thinking that I'm no longer in Secondary school, life would be so much easier, I desperately but unwillingly hunted around for a University to continue my education. (I personally wanted to kill a bit more time wondering about life, but my parents said it's better if I finish education quickly.) Most of my friends knew what they wanted to study, wanted to be, later in the future. But me, being 'jack of all trades, master of none', was unable to choose what I wanted to do.


February
This was the first time for me being away from home (for studies), well, I guess it IS, for most of us, but then again, it's still a first time experience.


March
I learned how troublesome uni actually was. In our Secondary school years, the teacher goes to the students, now WE students have to find our lecturers, Huh! Besides that, there was the "NO SPOONFEEDING" thing..... which made everything oh-so-complicated. I soon started missing being a high school student.


April
This is the first time someone other than my own mom ate my cookings. I wasn't sure whether other people would like my 'tastes' at first..... but oh well.... it turned out fine it seemed *wink*. Next up, I got to experience what "A Swarm of Mosquitoes" meant!!


May
I found out that Tongue Depressors were often mistaken for "Popsicle sticks", and that they are NOT suitable for making models ^^ I learned NOT to pay RM10 for a Fully clothed sauna session + mute movie at Miri City's Cinema.


June
Exams were irritating. They make you burn your favourite food supplies that you kept to munch on during your Favourite movie/anime/drama!..... they deprive you of sleep! They stress you out and make you feel like throwing your laptop all over your room! I learned never to study last minute in Uni again. Okay... I take that back, maybe I didn't learn, you'll know why soon.


July
Pulau manukan was Fun!!

Especially with friends that have different talents such as floating, sinking, scaring fish away, etc etc. Now what else did I do in July....... Before I knew it.... it was time to go back to boring Miri.


August
I took my first Commerce subject in Life: Management 100. And it proved to me that I didn't have enough patience to learn commerce subs (Though I have patience to wait all night just to watch sunrise). I also witnessed a 'false alarm' scene while shopping for stuff.... And it was the first sat down at a coffee shop to watch their TV.... lame eh.... eh Desa Senadin, Miri, to watch the Magnificent "Beijing Olympics".


September
September was a busy month.... I had a Blood donation in Curtin, 3rd packet of blood I've given out... I joined a Bintang Plaza Fundraising Event to "Feed the Poor"!! Nah... not feed the poor...... for some Palliative care clinic.... which..... I am not interested in explaining what at the moment. Then there was "中秋节". Mooncake festival, for those of you who don't read chinese.... so I got to experience the stupidity of walking around the area with a tiny lantern in hand. Nostalgic though....


October
Longhouses..... well, the first time going to a longhouse, I expected them to be LOoooOOng..... turns out they weren't so LONG after all, haha. But I'd definitely remember a road trip SIX (6) hours long..... That was a first.... might be the last too.....


November
Once again.... exams crept up upon me this month.... and I never learned my lessons since the last one.


December
Ahh.... December..... the month full of activities and memories....
This december, I wore my school uniform for the first time after I've graduated for a year!

We MISSED the countdown for Christmas, special thanks to Mr. Amos Lau, hahaha... Nah, just kidding. Thx for calling us out.

Then I got my camera.... Thanks Mom, Thanks Santa.
As a 'closing' for 2008, I got pretty tipsy on drinking once again on 30th Dec.

Think they look fine in these 2 pics?...... They Might seem pretty normal in these 2.... but guess again....

FYI: no, that is not our everyday 'cola'.

And lastly..... 31st Dec......

*Also Unavailable.... for the meanwhile.....


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That pretty much sums up 2008..... a year of new experiences.....


My Happiest moment in 2008-
There are so many things that made me happy throughout the year. But the one that I remember the most now is when my mom agreed to get my camera.... Now THAT, really touched my heart.

My most regretful act in 2008-
Hmm.... taking Management 100??? It was a plenty waste of time and effort!! I didn't even need it in the first place.

The most important lesson you learnt in 2008-
Time flies...... it's just a matter of time before everything we're doing now turns into precious memories......

My New Year's Resolution:
1. Make as many precious memories as possible
2. Look at the world in a different view
3. Be a different person
4. To come out, step up, and enjoy this world


Think my resolutions are weird?? Haha.... they were the most logic ones I could think of.... the rest were too 'materialistic', which I didn't like.

So, Happy New Year guys.... Thank you everyone and everything, for 2008, and the past.

As we grow older...

This post might be a bit odd as my first actual post coming back to KK, but anyway....

Once again, I couldn't sleep. My mind just seems to be to active at the wrong times of the day, so I ended up here again, typing my thoughts into this computer, and up onto my blog, which I didn't really want to at first, cause I felt it was a little awkward, but anyway, here it is....

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1 week... I've been back for slightly more than a week. Yet all too soon, I've already felt.... something that I didn't want to. Even if it's just a week, I felt that somehow..... with my friends.... everyone... each other.... have somehow started to grow apart.

I remember back in high school, there were times, when all of us would know what Steam would buy for breakfast; what Amos's math marks were; what was CKCham's favourite phrase of the day; what was the height of our classmates; where the girls would usually sit and eat; what would be the topic for that day..... and so on.....

Yet now, even as we talk to each other, there's so many things that we don't know anymore. As we live in different parts of the world, as we busy ourselves with our own business these days, even with the best technology in this world.... it seems we're all slowly growing apart.


As we grow older, there will be things.... that will naturally disappear.... Things that we no longer have to do, while other things that we will start to do; there will be more and more troublesome things, things that we just wave off with a sentace of "I'm busy", or "that's a waste of time", or "we'll do that next time", or some sort.....

In another few years.... we might not ever be able to do the same things we could do last time.... or even now....

And all those worthless things we did, the stupid quarrels we had, all the time we had together.... now turning into memories.... precious memories..... I really never would've thought it would be like this back then.
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end

Graduation

I see people saying how happy they are to have graduated; I read messages and posts saying they're finally taking a new step in life. However, seeing all this, just reminds me, of the same me back then.


To graduate, most people would take it as a good news, a happy thing. It's like one of those things you can say "FINALLY!!". Well, I admit that I was no different, I heaved the sigh "finally..." under my breath. But having said this, what does it mean to graduate?

Hmm, I personally still haven't realised what it means to have graduated. But I sure do know now what it is to not have graduated. I also found out, that there are many things, that will never be the same once out of high school.

Sometimes, I wonder if I could go back to the past, go back to before I graduated, do things that I regret not doing, or doing things that I never did before. Besides that, I wanna experience everything all over again..... it's just so...... nostalgic in a sense.



What do YOU think about graduating?? Feel free to post answers.

Past, Present, Future...

Are you a person who lives in the Past? Do you live a life ever-chasing a future? Or are you the normal person of today? Personally, I hadn't realised these aspects of life until just recently, when something stupid happened to me.

On tuesday, I had my first subject, Management 100. And as I was going out, I couldn't find my house keys, so I assumed I accidentally left them downstairs the night before. So I took my bags and books and all, headed downstairs, only to find that that wasn't the case.

And when I went back up, I turned the door knob, and I go "Shucks!". I'd left my keys in my room. So I went to campus without my keys.


The funny thing is (and also a good thing I assume), even during such a troublesome situation, I can still manage to forget about it and end up dreaming of the future, "What will I do when I arrive back in KK? What am I gonna do next year? What do I wanna be in 5 years time?" These sort of thoughts usually keep me entertained when I'm bored.

So, that very Tuesday when I locked myself out, I was dreaming about a couple of years later during my exam free time. "I think if I were someone else, they'd be worrying about how to go back home and open their room door.", that was what I thought.


From this, I realised that most of my time..... I think about the future, about what could happen, is going to happen, will happen.... what is there for me, how good it would be if I could be this, this, this... that, that....

Or if not in the future, I'd be dwelling in the past, wondering if I could've done better, what better things I could have done in the past, re-calling the fun and joy of the past memories. I'll always treasure them.... now and forever.

And when I finally set my mind to think about the present, the only thing I worry most about is my stomach. "growl...." is the sound it makes every 2 and a half hours.... I seem to have a very strong need for food lately. If I tried to force myself past 4 hours, I'd be so hungry I'd have to hibernate (sleep, in other words).


So, do you worry about your future? Are you tied down by your past? Or all you do is worry for the exams?


p/s: In the end, I had to climb a wall somewhere around the back alleyway and walk across the rooftop of 3 houses like some daylight shinobi to get to my room window (my room is on the 2nd floor).