It's all just a Paper-thin line apart

Yes and No. In and Out. Here and There. To Be or Not to Be. Right and Wrong. Truth and Falsity. Life and Death. What separates each from the other, is all just a paper-thin line.


I knew this all along, but not until Yesterday, did it actually dawn upon me that everything actually followed this 1 or 0 rule.


All along in my exams in Uni so far. I've never failed a subject. Nor do I plan to ~.~ (who does, well, maybe some do). But yesterday. I came across a subject so hard, *okay, it wasn't actually THAT hard, but the fact that I NEVER listened to lectures or studied it AT ALL before this made it so*, that I was almost willing to give it up. Yet, my conscience and ego took over, and I forced myself to study through the midnight before the exam.

So after I finished my paper yesterday. Though I don't think I did well, but I think that I somewhat managed to scrape through and pass. But since the results aren't out, I can't say for sure.


However, soon, I got word from a friend taking the same subject. And the person told me, that all she hopes for right now is for a Supplementary Exam. At that moment, I felt regret, and guilt, for not asking her to study more, for not telling her to stop playing around. I always thought that it would be fine, that it should be fine. I was wrong.

Pass or Fail. Only then did I realise, failure was just an inch away from passing. Even though we might not realise it, but it's always lingering around the corners, waiting for us to make a wrong move, waiting us to fall into the wrong temptation. I never knew it was so close by.... and I never had the thought of it actually happening, to me, or to my friends.

I'm lucky that I pushed myself to study even though it really felt like hell during those hours.... .... in the middle of the night, with no food, not enough sleep (due to a 3 day combo of exams, this was the 3rd). I felt like a living zombie at 6 in the morning. While some who fell into the trap and didn't manage to fight back, lost themselves, and ended up on the other side of that paper-thin margin.


But from now on, I guess I'll be more aware of that paper-thin margin. That separates one from the other.
And that the choice, is Ours to make.

Some, however... are less fortunate to make that choice. But that's a whole new topic to talk about when the time comes.